I am a blogging sell out. Hard to imagine that Im choosing to mosey over to the deep dark underbelly of the blogging world, but- I find myself telling the same stories over and over. So now, I can just say "read my blog" and thats that. Although I can barely even make my mouth speak those words. Im like Arthur Fonzarelli trying to admit he was wrong. I was wr wr wr wro wron wron WRONG. Thats me. Read my bl bl bl BLOG. Either way, there are sure to be a whole bunch of new things in life Id never imagined Id be doing. Here are a few examples:
1. I examine poo like its my job. Not only do I examine it for smell, texture and quantity- I then find others willing to listen to me give a blow by blow of all the baby bowels theyve missed since we saw them last.
2. I sing. Those close to me realize how disturbing it is. The Dr has assured me that my babys eardrums cannot bleed from this and that the baby will actually benefit from it.
3. I am an expert "ball washer". Yes, I went there. Who knew that after all of these years of being aquainted with man-parts I may never have actually realized how much upkeep they required in order to remain fresh at all times. So, now I know.
4. I narrate almost everything I do, while talking in the third person. "Mommy is writing a blog because mommy wants to keep everyone in the loop. Isnt that funny that Mommy is a sell out?" Apparently this is the way that babies learn what to call you. Im referring to Mommy and not sell out. Although its entirely possible he may call me that someday as well.
5. Im that person, sending 1368376 pictures and video clips of my baby doing absolutely nothing interesting. Its like I expect others to catch a contact-high off of the pictures or something. Ive even sunken as low as to title things "cutest one yet" so that people are manipulated into opening it right away!
Those are just a few shining examples of the new world according to vanO. Its a new regime after all, and I'm no longer calling the shots. So, settle in and check back frequently for updates.
1. I examine poo like its my job. Not only do I examine it for smell, texture and quantity- I then find others willing to listen to me give a blow by blow of all the baby bowels theyve missed since we saw them last.
2. I sing. Those close to me realize how disturbing it is. The Dr has assured me that my babys eardrums cannot bleed from this and that the baby will actually benefit from it.
3. I am an expert "ball washer". Yes, I went there. Who knew that after all of these years of being aquainted with man-parts I may never have actually realized how much upkeep they required in order to remain fresh at all times. So, now I know.
4. I narrate almost everything I do, while talking in the third person. "Mommy is writing a blog because mommy wants to keep everyone in the loop. Isnt that funny that Mommy is a sell out?" Apparently this is the way that babies learn what to call you. Im referring to Mommy and not sell out. Although its entirely possible he may call me that someday as well.
5. Im that person, sending 1368376 pictures and video clips of my baby doing absolutely nothing interesting. Its like I expect others to catch a contact-high off of the pictures or something. Ive even sunken as low as to title things "cutest one yet" so that people are manipulated into opening it right away!
Those are just a few shining examples of the new world according to vanO. Its a new regime after all, and I'm no longer calling the shots. So, settle in and check back frequently for updates.
2 comments:
welcome to the 21st century! I'm so glad you have arrived so i can see EJ's chubby belly daily!
Karen, I am so glad you started a bl bl bl blog! Now the extended "family" can see those little changes more often. EJ's gotten so big since the last photo Michael sent! So cute! So funny!
Lovely poem for Charlie. Can't believe it's been a year.
"auntie e"
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